


Every You Every Me

by AcidicMusings



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV), Thirteen Reasons Why - Jay Asher
Genre: M/M, Post-Series, Rating will go up, Slow Burnish, some OOCness but hey people change and mature
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-10-22 19:38:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10703727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AcidicMusings/pseuds/AcidicMusings
Summary: Clay Jensen is 22 years old when he sees Justin Foley again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Can you believe I wrote this shit? anyways takes place 5 years after canon

Clay Jensen is 22 years old when he sees Justin Foley again.

It seemed like an eternity since he last saw the other back before the trial. For a moment he had felt as though he was having a hallucination. Like he had saw Hannah. Clay shook his head and focused back on Justin. His hair was buzzed and his face appeared older with an addition of dark circles under his eyes. For a moment Clay didn't recognize him.

"So you work at Monet's now?" Justin spoke, looking him over as he approached the counter. Clay opened his mouth looking for his words. So many thoughts raced through his head. _Where had he been? Why was he back?_

He ultimately settled on: "Yeah, my friend got me the job before she moved away for college. Uhm, could I get you something?”

Justin shrugged and looked over the menu. "Just a ice coffee. I think I could use the caffeine right now," he said before turning on his heel and taking a seat. Clay stared for a moment longer before making the order. He placed it down onto the table and couldn't hold back the question that had been on his mind.

"Where were you?"

"Not here," Justin snorted. "I needed to get away from this place, it's toxic." He sipped the coffee and nodded in appreciation before looking back up at him.

Clay toyed with the edges of his apron, "does anyone else know your back?"

"No. If you could keep it that way I'd appreciate it. I'm just- I'm just not ready to see everyone," his voice wavered and he averted his eyes away.

Clay felt pity for the other. He wasn't the same cocky Justin from junior year. This Justin was tired and beaten down by life. "If you want after my shift I could sit with you. Catch you up on things, you missed a lot."

"That'd be great," Justin said his voice quiet. For a split second he reminded Clay of an abandoned puppy that he could take home and nurture.

He shook the thought out of his head and turned to head back behind the counter, an hour suddenly felt like an eternity. He couldn't help stealing glances at Justin, the man seemed enveloped with staring down the abstract painting on the wall. _God he's changed a lot._ He wondered what happened to Justin when he was away those five years.

Finally, he was relieved from his shift and he took a seat across from the other. "So," he started. 

"So."

Clay cleared his throat, "five years." Justin gave him a look that said, _yeah and?_ "Just thinking about where to start. The Bakers, Hannah's parents, they won the trial. They got the tapes somehow and well it helped them win. Helped Bryce get sent away to prison too. Jessica moved not too long after, I guess being here was too painful for her. Not that I blame her, I thought about leaving too. Things really went to shit after Alex shot himself right before you left, he didn't die but he's not exactly good either. He can't function the same, he suffers from epileptic seizures a lot. The doctors said that was normal of a gunshot wound to the head though."

"And everyone else- Marcus, Zach, and Courtney?" 

"Zach went to a college out of state, so I'm not a hundred percent sure what he's up to. Marcus and Courtney go to the same community college I do," Clay explained watching the information wash over Justin. He understood it was a lot to process. Once he was sure Justin had, had enough time to think he asked, "Why are you back? Not trying to sound like a dick, but just wondering."

"My mom's asshole boyfriend finally died, and she can't really handle being alone. I came back to take care of her," he explained simply before standing up and putting a five dollar bill on the table. "I've got to go. I'll see you around, Jensen."

"Wait, Justin! Is there anyway I can contact you. Like a phone number or something?" Clay found himself surprised to ask.

"Uh yeah, do you have a pen?" Justin asked just as surprised. Clay handed one to him, fumbling when his fingers brushed up against his. "It's my home phone. I don't really have a cellphone anymore." Justin handed him a napkin with a phone number scrawled onto it.

"Thanks, I'll call you."

"Sure.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clay finally gives Justin a call.

Clay mulls over Justin's number for three days. In those three days Justin had not come back to Monet’s.

He doesn't know why but he wants to help Justin. Maybe it's because of Hannah or maybe it's the rumors from high school about Justin's home life not being the best. Justin by no means is a _good_ guy, but no one deserved to be abused.

After his shift Clay summoned up the courage to call the other. He carefully typed the digits in making sure to get it right. After a couple rings a rough, but familiar voice answered. "Hello?" it asked.

"Hey Justin, its Clay."

"I was beginning to think you weren't going to call," he joked. A small chuckle escaped past Clay's lips.

"Well I don't ask for number without intending to call. I was wondering if you'd want to hang out, maybe go out for lunch? On me," he adds knowing the other probably doesn't have much money.

The other end of the line goes quiet for a moment. "Go out? I'm not too sure..." he trailed off.

"I could make you lunch at my place," Clay offered noticing Justin's uneasiness. "I mean I'm not the best cook but I'm sure I could make something edible."

"Since you're offering I don't see why not. You don't need to cook, I dunno a pizza would be fine honestly."

"Cool, how does Saturday at 10:30 work for you?" Clay asked, receiving a low hum of approval. "My address is..."

\----

Clay looked at the pizza in front of him. He assumed pepperoni would be fine, after all who doesn't like pepperoni. He glanced at the clock checking for the time.

_10:40_

There was a faint knock on the door and Clay bolted up from his chair. "I can't believe I'm doing this," he said to himself as he approached the door. Clay sucked in a breath and opened it, "come in before the food gets cold." Justin flashed him a small smile before stepping into the apartment.

"Nice place," Justin commented looking around. "Are you into that new trend? Minimalism I think it's called."

Clay snorted and shook his head leading Justin to the small kitchen. "No, what makes you think that?"

"You literally only have a couch and a coffee table in the living room."

"There's a rug."

"Sorry, _and_ a rug," Justin chuckled and took a seat at the table. "Pepperoni? Not bad, but I'm more of a pineapple guy." Clay rolled his eyes. _Of course he's a pineapple pizza guy, why am I not surprised._

"Hey I saw that!" The other man exclaimed. "Pineapple pizza is a gift from God. Your taste buds just aren't good enough for it." He opened the box and snatched a piece.

Clay watched him wolf down his food. He leaned over and took a piece for himself. A comfortable silence fell between them. He looked up from his plate to see Justin's eyes on him. "Yes?" He asked tilting his head.

"You've really changed you know," Justin replied leaning back in his chair. "Like you've grown up- grown more confident."

"Thanks?" Clay flushed at the compliment. "Uh I guess after the whole Hannah thing I just kinda matured." He looked down feeling uncomfortable at the confession.

Justin sighed softly and he pushed his slice of pizza away. "When I left I used to think about it almost every day. At first I was mad, y’know. Think horrible things and at some point it changed. The things I could have done different or changed."

"I like to imagine we all do," Clay admitted. "It's stupid, I know."

Justin shook his head, "not at all. It's not a stupid to hope that people can be better, especially about what happened. I eventually realized that I can't live in the past and that yes, I did something bad, but I had to move on and better myself."

Clay found himself lost for words. He hadn't thought Justin would be this remorseful over his actions. He had painted this picture in his head that Justin could have cared less and would've rather run away than face the consequences. Justin's voice snapped him out of his musings. "I'm sorry? Could you repeat that?" He asked.

"I was just saying I was going to take off. My mom is going to wake up soon and I have to feed her," Justin explained. "Thank you for the pizza and everything."

"It was no problem. If you want to, I'd like to hang out with you again," Clay said with a small smile.

"Maybe next time we should go out for pizza, your place is a little to spacey for my tastes," Justin teased with an identical smile. Clay placed the dishes in the sink and walked the taller man out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day!? Sorry but expect weekly updates from here on out.
> 
> Kudos are appreciated and comments are loved. Come visit me on tumblr @tendericarus or my writing blog @chutedeicarus for updates, questions, discuss topics, or even take prompts


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's basically a date

Clay yawned and buried his face into his pillow. After a month of hard work he felt as though he deserved the next couple days off. A faint buzzing noise roused him; he rolled over and pulled his phone up off the floor. Clay rubbed his eyes and looked at the name on the screen. _Justin_. Clay swiped to answer, "hello?"

"Hey! Are you still in bed?"

"Uh yeah, why?" He asked rolling over onto his back and pulling the blanket up to his chin.

Justin laughed before answering, "it's 10:30. Do you have the day off or somethin'?”

"Yeah, I actually have tomorrow off too," he replied and checking the time for himself. God he couldn't remember sleeping in this long since high school.

"I assume you've haven’t breakfast yet."

"You assumed correct. Are you going to bring me breakfast in bed or something?" He couldn't help but joke.

"You'd like that wouldn't you? I could grab you an Egg McMuffin, though." Justin offered. Clay shrugged, _why not, he's offering._

"Yeah that'd be great actually. The door is unlocked so come in when you get here," he replied. Justin gave a hum of approval before hanging up. Clay tossed his phone to the side before rolling back over. _It won't kill me to grab another couple of minutes of sleep_ , he told himself before closing his eyes.

He was jolted awake by Justin nudging him with the toe of his shoe. "Hello sleeping beauty," he teased waving the McDonald's bag in the air.

"Shit, sorry. I fell back asleep," Clay apologized sitting up and stretching. He rolled out of bed and onto his feet.

"You work too hard," Justin snorted before laughing. "I'm loving the floral print boxers."

Clay flushed and flicked Justin off, "hey they were a gift, plus they're comfortable." The other held his hands up before walking out of the room to let him get dressed. He pulled on a pair of distressed jeans and a t-shirt and went to go meet Justin in the kitchen.

"Thanks for the food," he said grabbing his Egg McMuffin off the table. Justin shrugged and continued eating. "Any plans today?"

Justin shook his head, "not much. I'm probably going to end up cleaning the apartment. You?"

"There's this café that's also a bookstore on the edge of town I heard about. You can order drinks and borrow a book, not too exciting. You're welcome to come if you want though," he offered.

"I mean I'm not a total book nerd, _but_ it sounds better than cleaning," Justin said with a small smile. Clay felt his stomach flutter; a small part of him had hoped when he first heard about the café a week ago, he could bring the other man.

"Great, we can take my car."

***

The car was spent in comfortable silence and Justin tapping along to the beat of Clay's music.

"What are you thinking about getting?" Clay asked looking at the menu. "It's me, by the way, since you bought breakfast."

"Mm the vanilla bean ice coffee sounds good," Justin hummed. "What are you thinking about?"

"Very hard choice, but the banana strawberry smoothie is calling my name," he said with a nod. "What?" He asked watching Justin chuckle.

"I don't know, it's just kinda funny seeing you order a smoothie when you work at a coffee shop," he shrugged.

"Weirdo," Clay teased walking up to the register.

"You're weird," The other huffed back. Clay ignored him and ordered their drinks. He lead Justin over to the book cases.

" _The Iliad_ , jeez, do you remember reading this in English," he said pulling the epic off the shelf and holding it up for Justin.

"Yeah, I remember sleeping through most of it," Justin snorted looking down at the book. "Was it any good?"

"It was extremely good! God it's the defining moment of Greek culture, the Trojan War. Really if you ever feel like reading something, I'd suggest this," Clay said reaching to slid it back into its spot. Justin reached out and grabbed it.

"Well you did say it's a reading café," he blushed tucking it under his arm. "The drinks are ready, I'll get a table?"

He couldn't help but smile to himself watching the other go. Clay looked over the shelf and chose _Watership Down_. After scanning the café he hurried over to the table Justin had found. "What'd you find?" He asked.

"Oh _Watership Down_ , it's about bunnies that get driven out of their home and sometimes they end up murdering each other," he explained." 

"Uhm wow, that's intense," Justin said pushing Clay's drink towards him. Clay mentally punched himself, _stop being weird._ He sat down and sipped his drink.

"Not bad," he said before looked at Justin. "How's _The Iliad_?"

"Kinda hard, like the language. I don't remember it being this hard in school," he said with a frustrated look on his face. "The gods also confuse me."

"Well in school they did dumb it down, so don't worry. The gods play a central part of the story, without them _The Iliad_ would lose it's enjoyable part," he explained. "Do you want some help with reading it? I did tutor Jeff back when I was a sophomore."

"I'd like that," Justin admitted with a small nod. Clay rose out of his seat and sat down next to the other.

"Okay so here we go..."

They wrap up around book four of _The Iliad_ , and Clay can't help but smile when Justin asks if they could come back and finish the epic. The two men finish the last sips of their drinks before heading out. The short ride to Justin's mom's apartment is silent aside from Justin moving around in his seat.

It's when Clay makes it to the apartment does Justin speak up. "Hey thanks for helping me and everything with the book. I've never really have had help with this sort of stuff," he explained with another nervous shift in his chair.

"It was no problem. You're very smart when you apply yourself," Clay said. "I'm glad I could help you, if you ever need anything I'm here." He resists the sudden urge to pull the other into a hug and settles on a small pat on the shoulder. Justin murmured a goodbye and squeezed Clay's hand before hopping out of the car.

It's only after Justin leaves that Clay finds himself thinking about the little things. He wants to feel their fingers brush against each other again. To hear the other read to himself in a whisper while everything else slips away. Clay shook his head in an effort to expel the thoughts from his mind.

It doesn't work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Soak in the happiness, it's an angsty ride after this


	4. Chapter 4

Over the next two months, their friendship starts to bud and Clay finds himself secretly thrilled every time Justin walks into Monet's. The man would often loiter around the counter chatting with him throughout his shift, or they would sometimes, but not often, hang out in Clay's barren apartment.

While Clay would've rather been at work talking to Justin, he was stuck in class preparing for a lecture on philosophy. Not long after he took his seat a familiar face sat down next to him. _Marcus_. Clay waited for the other to talk but he stayed silent. After an hour into class he relaxed and started to doodle absentmindedly in the corner of his notebook before being interrupted by a sharp jab to his side. Looking up he saw Marcus' harsh gaze on him. "Hey Marcus," he said nervously; he could already tell by the other's expression this wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation.

"Why didn't you tell me he was back?" He whispered, scooting closer to Clay until they were practically shoulder to shoulder.

"I respected his decision not to tell anyone. Anyways, I don't answer to you," Clay shot back before moving his chair away from Marcus. "How did you even know he was here?" The other rolled his eyes at the question. _Right_. San Luis was small and anyone could have seen Justin. He was lucky he went unnoticed for as long as he had.

Marcus narrowed his eyes making Clay grow uneasy. "Listen, Clay-" he started before getting cut off by the professor. He could've cried tears of relief hearing the words "class is over."

Clay‘s chair let out a harsh screech as he bolted up out of it quickly. He briskly walked away as fast as he could, contemplating whether or not he should tell Justin. To give him the heads up that Marcus was well aware that he was back in town. He fished out his keys and tugged his jacket closer to him; he had a whole car ride to figure this out.

***

Clay smiled seeing his favorite customer saunter up to the counter. "Hey Justin," he said leaning up against the ledge.

"So I have some good news," he started with a broad smile that made Clay's stomach flutter. "I finally found a job, it's not fancy but it pays decently _and_ I was thinking that we should go out for real pizza, not that cardboard shit you always order."

"Don't hate on Dominos man!" He joked before smiling back and answering, "I'd love to go get 'real pizza' with you."

"Awesome, you're shift ends at five right? I'll swing by then and we can walk over to this place I found," Justin said with a small nod. Clay felt his cheeks heat up at the other remembering his schedule. He thought of his earlier encounter with Marcus, there's was no way he could ruin Justin’s day with what happened. _I'll just tell him tomorrow_ , Clay decided. He watched the other turn on his heel and start to head out, "you better get ready to be amazed!" He said raising a hand before walking out.

***

He tossed off his apron as soon as his shift. Clay tugged his jacket back on and walked out into the chilly air. On the dot he saw Justin jogging up to him. He couldn't help but look the other over. His hair was freshly buzzed (much better than the two month grow out he'd been sporting), _tight_ jeans, and a large knit sweater.

"Hey," Justin greeted, hooking his thumbs in his belt loops and tilting his chin down. "What's up?"

Clay peered up at the taller man unable to stop his lips from curving up, “I'm ready to be amazed by this pizza, yourself?"

"Well, I'm ready to take you to be amazed by this pizza," he said starting to walk. "I found this place not too long ago. It's a little shady, but you can't find better pizza in San Luis." Justin paused and tilted his head back thoughtfully. "Did you do something different with your hair?"

"Uhm, it grew a bit. Why?" Clay asked, a wave of self consciousness rolling over him. He couldn’t help but raise a hand to his hair.

"It looks good a bit longer. It suits you," Justin stated with a small nod before starting to walk again. 

Clay felt his cheeks grow warm at the compliment. "Thanks-" he started, catching a glance of Marcus and locking eyes. _Oh shit_ , he thought looking up at Justin, who was frozen on the spot.

"Long time, no see," Marcus said walking up to them and looking Justin over. "Jeez how long has it been? Five years and you couldn't even come say hello. Where have you've been?"

"Around," Justin replied stiffly and pressed against Clay. "I have no reason to talk to you."

"Really? C'mon Justin, we're friends, don't play like that. After all, as I recall we were when the tapes came out,” Marcus said, his voice dripping with fake friendliness. Justin narrowed his eyes and clenched his fists.

"Justin-"

"Fuck. Off. If you ever come near me again, I'll kill you.” He growled through his teeth and shoving an angry finger against Marcus’ chest. “C'mon we're leaving," Justin said before grabbing a fistful of Clay's jacket sleeve and started pulling him away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry I took so long to update! All last week I had finals whilst battling pneumonia.
> 
> I hope this chapter makes up for the wait!


	5. Chapter 5

Clay let himself be dragged away. He glanced up to see Justin's expression pinched, his mouth was set in line and his cheeks flushed. "Justin," he said grabbing the other’s hand firmly. Justin spun around to face him revealing glassy eyes. Clay frowned and led him away from the street into a back alley.

Justin turned his head away from him and pressed a finger against his eyes in an effort to stop tears from flowing. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice wavering. Clay reached out and wiped a stray tear with his jacket sleeve.

"It's fine," he assured. Without thought he released his grip on the edge of his sleeve and wiped away another drop with his thumb. Justin leaned into the touch and blinked away tears. Clay dropped his hand down to Justin's chest and leaned up, pressing a soft kiss onto his lips. His heart clenched in his chest and he pulled away blushing. “Shit, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have-“ Justin cut him off with a strong kiss to the lips.

Clay broke away and gently took Justin’s hand, "let's go back to my place."

***

The ride back to Clay's is silent aside from Justin's sniffles. As soon as they're back inside the taller man curled up against the arm of the couch. "I'm sorry for losing it back there, I'm a bit of a stress crier," Justin explained watching Clay take a seat at the other end. Clay wrung his hands together and looked down. "Clay, can I tell you something?"

"Yes, anything."

"You're the first person I'm telling this too, and probably will be the only one. When I left I wandered around for a while, caught rides with truck drivers. Some of the things I did when I was out there, I wasn't proud of," Justin paused and let out a sigh. "I did a bad thing for money that I never should have. These men, they paid me to beat the shit out of this other guy. I remember him begging me to stop and I didn't. I kept going until he was bloody and unconscious. I never stopped regretting what I did."

"Justin, I'm-"

"Wait I'm not done. Clay, ever since that day you invited me out to the café, I _wanted_ to ask you out and do dumb couple stuff. I just- I needed you to know that about me because I don't want you to be with someone you think I am, when I'm not," he said, his voice cracking at the end. Clay furrowed his brows and took one of his hands.

"Justin, I would never look down on you at this point. I never expected you to have a clean record coming back after five years, when I first saw you I accepted that," he looked up and looked into Justin's eyes. "I want to be with you and do 'dumb couple stuff'. The whole package." Justin pulled Clay into an embrace. Clay pressed his face into the crook of his neck and closed his eyes.

"Clay?"

"Yeah?" He murmured.

"Can we order that cardboard pizza you like?"

Clay couldn't help but laugh against Justin's skin, he pulled back and nodded, "of course we can." 

\---

They laid entwined together on Clay's stiff couch eating the pizza he had ordered. He couldn't help but melt feeling Justin trace shapes along his skin as they watched a dumb sci-fi movie that was on.

"Shit man, run," Justin mumbled eyes locked on the screen. Clay stifled a laughed and leaned in to cautiously place a kiss on the other's neck. _No response._ He snorted and lightly nipped at the skin causing Justin shifted to look at him.

"Yes, baby shark?" He asked with a chuckle and pushed Clay’s hair back from his face.

"Baby shark?"

"Yeah because you're nibbling on me," Justin said stifling his laughter as Clay playfully hit him. "You wanted my attention?"

"I wanted to know if you planned on spending the night. Figured we could change into something more comfortable," he suggested. Clay held his breath in hope the other would say yes.

Justin yawned and nodded, "hm sounds very tempting. I think I'll take you up on that offer." Clay’s heart fluttered as he sat up and slid his hand into Justin's to pull him up and lead him down the hall and to his sparse room.

Once they made it in, Clay pulled off his shirt and went to unbutton his jeans, his hands halted once he saw Justin undressing. He found himself unable to not watch as he peeled off his shirt to reveal taunt skin pulled over bone and muscle with light, faded scars. Clay stepped forward to press his fingers along a jagged looking one as the center of his left shoulder.

"Pretty hot, right?" Justin hummed absentmindedly as he shrugged off his jeans and turned to face him. "Need help with those?" He said pointedly at Clay's.

His face went bright red and he shook his head, "no-ope I'm fine!" Clay replied and kicked off his jeans in a disorderly fashion sending them across the room. He padded over to his mattress and let himself fall back into it. "Coming?"

"Y-Yeah," Justin nodded his cheeks turning as red as Clay's. He crawled onto the opposite side and pulled Clay to his chest. He wrapped a hesitant arm around his waist, lightly rubbing Clay’s hipbone before pressing his face into the crook of his neck. Clay closed his eyes enjoying the light scratch of Justin’s incoming stubble against his neck, he found it oddly comforting. "Never took you as a cuddler," Clay couldn't help but tease.

"Shut up and go to sleep, Jenson." Justin huffed with a rough voice.

Clay did just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Miss me? Sorry for the super late update, I'm slowly getting back into the groove of writing.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos are appreciated and comments are loved. Come visit me on tumblr @tendericarus or my writing blog @chutedeicarus for updates, questions, discuss topics, or even take prompts


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